“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smiling until then.
Who cares about the wind and weather?
Keep smiling until we’re together.
Happy trails to you, till we meet again.
”
With deep sadness and loss, we share with all the friends and families who have ever "played in the sage" that our dear friend, mentor, and play collaborator, Mr. Godfrey, passed away late Monday morning, March 8th, 2021.
Remarkably, he would have been 99 years old in a couple of weeks. Pacific Sage Preschool exists as a "wonder-filled" place for young children because of Mr. Godfrey's friendship, unwavering commitment, and caring. We, and our yesterday, today, and tomorrow children are forever grateful.
"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away..."
― Terry Pratchett
I believe we live as long as someone remembers us and tells our story. Our story is a part of Mr. Godfrey's story.
Fate and friends first brought us together on a Sunday afternoon in September of 2014. Gathered on the sunny Pacific Unitarian Church patio, Mr. Godfrey (really Dr. Godfrey Pernell – successful dentist) led a church committee interested in starting an early learning center on their campus. It would replace the one that had closed when its owner retired after 30 years.
Mr. Godfrey, who was also the mayor of Rolling Hills at one time, asked that city's manager to quote, "find someone who knows something about this business." Mr. Godfrey's superpower was to bring diverse (and unsuspecting) people together to do his bidding. I had once worked with this manager in another city more than ten years before. After a quick game of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon," there I was consulting and giving the committee an idea of what they would be getting themselves into by starting their preschool.
I honestly tried to make it daunting and a little scary. Early Childhood was my passion, and work for more than half my life. I didn't want them to think it was easy to create something of quality and value. It is also a promise to the families who will depend on it and the children whose lives it will touch. Mr. Godfrey was 92 years old at the time, and as it is in the nature of the very old and the very young, he was not afraid.
Research and planning moved forward, and there were many more Sundays on the patio. With the approval of the Church's Board in February 2015, a generous gift of rare (and possibly magic) coins, and the help of so many hands, we began an unpredictable adventure and a remarkable friendship. Mr. Godfrey again gathered the diverse and unsuspecting and working along with them, he painted, sanded, or ferried materials and tools on his walker to get the school ready. Mr. Godfrey would talk about the experience he and his wife first had with preschools on the hill when his children were young. Memories of digging ditches and building fences rediscovered after many years. Laughing, he would say they didn't know what they were doing. I thought it was sweet that he thought I did.
Many who knew him would agree, Mr. Godfrey had strong opinions and could be stubborn; but he was also charming (in a Spencer Tracy sort of way), endearing and kind. During those many Sunday afternoons enjoying the church's "food ministry," we talked about early learning philosophies, how we got to be the people we thought we were, and debated business model strategies. He finally conceded that the "business" of young children was not the same as the "business" of teeth; I gave in to using 4.3 instead of simply 4 to calculate weekly and daily rates knowing I would regret having to keep track of all the pennies. Now I'll laugh, but I can't promise I won't still swear.
Nine months later, in October 2015, Pacific Sage opened its doors to five children – Chloe, Joya, Benjamin, Henry, and Brighton, a redheaded firecracker as he described her. She was a particular favorite of his. After she moved on, and as I told him about the new children joining us each year, he wondered how she was doing. The school quickly filled with a widely diverse group of children and families. At one time, we counted eleven countries and nine different languages represented, and each year was more fun and amazing than the one before. When we checked in with each other during this year of pandemic uncertainty and isolation, his first question was always, "how is the school?" It was reassuring for him that our children and families were safe and thriving. This October, we will be six.
Pacific Sage made Mr. Godfrey happy, and he took great delight in the children who "played in the sage." In the first several years, he visited whenever he could to spend time talking with the friends. He shared corny jokes, brought us fruit from his trees or pale blue and green eggs from his sister's chickens. He particularly enjoyed giving the children rides around the yard on his walker. I walked close to listen to their conversations (and just in case). Once a small friend, who was getting a ride, looked at Mr. Godfrey and asked with great seriousness, "Are you old?" Mr. Godfrey chuckled and said, "Yes I am." With that, the boy replied matter-of-factly, "I'm three," and off they shuffled.
The children always welcomed him as one of their own, swarming around him. They liked touching his hands, asking questions, and admiring his walker. The imaginative, curious, and mischievous always recognize one another, and like them, you could soothe Mr. Godfrey with a hug…and a little ice cream. After he was "advised" not to drive on his own, he would convince (again unsuspecting) friends and family visiting him to bring him to Pacific Sage under the pretense of meeting me, seeing the school, or dropping something off. Like the small friends, he was clever that way.
Shortly before he died, we were able to visit. Both of us, having had our shots, had a long hug. The CDC would later approve. He still wanted to talk about the school, wondered about the little firecracker, and still wanted to know how we could have more children. He always asked. It did get easier over time to convince him that "bigger" wasn't better (particularly for the parking lot or gardens). Now, a plan to share the "idea" of a Pacific Sage with others and helping them have one of their own was a future that made him squeeze my hand, nod, and quietly say, "ok."
Leaving is an unavoidable part of living.
The traditional goodbye song of Pacific Sage is "Happy Trails" because who doesn't like a good rowdy cowboy song, but more importantly, it ends with the line…" Happy trails to you, till we meet again." We sing it to the wildlife that we find, study and then let go. We sing it to the living things that we cared for, or find, that have passed on. We sing it to friends who leave us for new experiences and adventures at the end of each year. When we believe we will see each other again, we can bear the separation.
Mr. Godfrey's birthday is Sunday – March 21st. We talked about that too. He thought 99 was old. It is. He felt Pacific Sage friends should celebrate with music and a lot of cake. We will. But we also hope all our friends and families will find a little cake and take a moment to sing for him on that day.
"Happy trails, Mr. Godfrey, till we meet again."